We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
