Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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