And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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