I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
