i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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