i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
