I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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