Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I could make wine with my vomit
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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