I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You pole danced in your parka.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
