the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
