Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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