i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
