tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
