Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
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everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
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Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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