glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
