it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
