im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
