You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I have fence marks all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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