Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
