so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
