if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
