O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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