hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
