I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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