someone owes me an orgasm
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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