Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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