dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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