he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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