You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm experimenting with sincerity
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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