nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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