Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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