We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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