Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
