Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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