you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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