If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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