just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
