I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
