now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
