I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
