I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
