That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
