the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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