Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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