Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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