my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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