remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
