JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
