Come see our sink grown plant.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
