32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
