I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
