Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think my vagina is haunted
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
