Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
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The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
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pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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