You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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