definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
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Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
soo... how was my night?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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